Decisions... Decisions...

So here I am, its midnight, and my two yr old daughter is asleep next to me in my bed. I am content. For those of you that dont know me or my situation, lets just say its complicated... laughable even. But, to make a long story short, my exwife needed a place to stay, and theres no way I'm going to let my daughters be put out on the street. So here we all are, living together, again.

Aside from the fact that I have a girlfriend who lives four hrs away, and and exwife who lives with me... I am as I said above, content. I forgot how much my daughters mean to me, I think. How much I miss seeing them, and holding them. Dont get me wrong, I'm able to see my daughters whenever I want to, my exwife(Naomi) has always been gracious in that respect, and for that I thank her. But it doesnt hold a candle to having your children in the same house as you.

And here is my dilemma... Naomi has been offered a job in Columbus, about an hour north of here. While that in itself is a good thing for her... it takes my kids farther away from me than they were previously. Naomi had a solution for this, yes we're divorced, but lets get a place together and split the rent. Fantastic! Except.... Julia. I know Julia said that she didnt have a problem with it, me and Naomi moving in together, and this move would actually put me closer to her. But I just cant help but think about how I would feel if she had been previously married, and suddenly wanted to move in with her exhusband.... I trust her implicitly, but what would my mind be thinking day in and day out... would that sour our relationship before it ever got a chance to take off, all these little, tiny nagging doubts? Not much on their own... but when they add up, would they be too much for me? for her? Now... on the flipside, I desperately want to be close to my children, but the company I work for isnt represented in the town that we're discussing here... so I would have to leave the career that I had started and move to another company. So many things going through my head right now... I just needed to see some of them in front of me... I guess.